just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
