This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
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i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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