Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
