we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
