Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
