dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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