I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
