I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I party with great urgency now.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
