just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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