how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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