she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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