Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just cut my nipple shaving
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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