What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize