She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
