Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
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you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
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It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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