Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The air taste purple.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
