My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
