Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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