So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
