Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize