I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
