I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize