Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
