How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize