OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
