so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
