STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
