Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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