Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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