just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
