we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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