i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
