I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
