Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
