okay pat passed out under dana's car
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
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Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
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Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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