I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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