You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
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