i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
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I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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