..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
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I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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