I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
