I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I am spending my child support on dildos
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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