Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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