Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
