guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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