I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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