how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize