god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
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just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
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When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."