I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
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i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision