Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  We need to rekindle our bromance

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  (512): We need to rekindle our bromance http://tfl.nu/aprz
  Replies (48) Good night (8826) Bad night (1531)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd

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  (807): yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd http://tfl.nu/28g8
  Replies (39) Good night (11148) Bad night (1445)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce

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  (630): She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce http://tfl.nu/xuim
  Replies (32) Good night (4219) Bad night (2011)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.

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  (231): I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon. http://tfl.nu/pf2r
  Replies (21) Good night (7404) Bad night (1399)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog

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  (312): Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog http://tfl.nu/dk0r
  Replies (23) Good night (5140) Bad night (976)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?

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  (615): Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich? http://tfl.nu/f2jm
  Replies (12) Good night (2505) Bad night (1954)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee

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  (904): I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee http://tfl.nu/enfq
  Replies (18) Good night (804) Bad night (1707)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.

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  (256): Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life. http://tfl.nu/gj8o
  Replies (3) Good night (1150) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?

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  (815): Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure? http://tfl.nu/5vd2
  Replies (0) Good night (532) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that

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  (914): And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that http://tfl.nu/fmcd
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.

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  (304): I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rvlh
  Replies (4) Good night (743) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand

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  (403): Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand http://tfl.nu/zc4q
  Replies (1) Good night (743) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.

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  (617): Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job. http://tfl.nu/3704
  Replies (4) Good night (935) Bad night (659)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public

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  (412): College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public http://tfl.nu/5mhd
  Replies (2) Good night (516) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.

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  (406): Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us. http://tfl.nu/j8er
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (654)

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