then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
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Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
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It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.