omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.