Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
