I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
