Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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