just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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