Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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