no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize