Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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