Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
