Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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