The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
