Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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