we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize